Wu Life Journal - Volume 1

Pi Pi the Puppy

01.31.09 - 023

I Give Him Four Months Tops.

Well, it seems our school got a new mascot - Pi Pi.  I swear our school gets a new dog nearly every six months.  I've personally seen four different dogs go though our school.  The first choked on a fish bone, the second got kidnapped, and a third never made it one week before it died.  The fourth, and final one, was spoiled so hard for two months while it was small, but once it lost its puppy appeal, it just got left to fend for self and eventually was found dead on the side of the road one day.

Now there is Pi Pi.  So cute,.. but a bunch of the students here have begun to start a pool as to how long this one will last.  Some of the newer students that don't know our school's history with young pups think we'll have it for a while.. but us seniors know better.  I give little Pi Pi four months. 

Sorry Pi Pi, but your days are numbered.

More Tea Please!

01.30.09 - 022

Under the Weather.

Yup.. I'm sick.  I rarely get sick these days, but when I do, it's tends to be pretty bad.  Even still.. I usually have a good idea as to how I got ill,.. but I think in this case, my bad month just got the best of me, and my immunity slacked.  My head hurts, my guts are runny, my throat is parched, and my phlegm is this ultra-bright neon-yellow.  YUCK.

Despite the yuck, I'm a soldier.  Still in class, still training.. but tons of green tea and massive doses of vitamin C for me in the down time. 

I will survive.

Horse Stance at the Purple Heaven Palace

01.29.09 - 021

Take Your Time.

Back in California, I train at the Wen Wu School of Martial Arts.  The school has been serving the community for well over 35 years now, sharing Shaolin kung fu, taiji, dayan qigong, painting, caligraphy, meditation, tea ceremony, history, culture, feng shui.. the works.  Beyond that, it also serves as a TCM clinic where you can get top rate treatments.  Truly an amazing school.

At any rate, when I first started there, I was really struggling.  I wanted so bad to be limber and light like all the other students, but it seemed like the harder I worked, the stiffer I got.  Seeing me struggle, one of the teachers there, Loc, shared some valuable wisdom with me.. 'Be patient David,.. you're on the 60 year plan, not the 60 day plan.. so take your time.'

Well.. now that I am back to practice full time here in Wudang,.. that old gem has come up once again.  I'm out there everyday now.. kicking and punching.. but this time, I'm pacing myself and taking it easy.  I still have my basics, I still remember my movements, and I still have the passion to train.  I'm right were I need to be.

'Man man lai,'  ..'Take your time.'

Counting Blessings

01.28.09 - 020

Knowing is One Thing, Doing is Another.

In college, my roommate Rob Money brought me to his parents’ house to have Christmas dinner once.  That night would be the first of countless meals to follow.. and the birth of my favorite.. the famous green bean casserole.  In time, I grew so close to his folks.. even to this day, we still share a special bond.  On one visit in particular, Rob’s mom, who is such a saint, shared something so valuable.. she looked me deep in the eyes and spoke so compassionately.. ‘David, never forget, every breath is a prayer.. so make every action an expression of divinity.’

Those words resonated so vibrantly as I made my way through this last period of grief and anguish.  I have roughed my dark cloud.. I have found my bright side.. now I must act and truly express the divinity that I have once again become present to.

It is time to cleanse my heart and start anew.. the filth of my past ways will make for fertile soil.. my tears will nurture new life.  ‘Every breath is a prayer,’ so I will no longer use my breath to speak foul language or express hurtful views.  ‘Every action is an expression of divinity,’ so I will make every effort to express gratitude, share joy, and relieve sorrow.

Though I have come to a similar space in the past.. it was solely the result of ideas introduced to me by a small group of friends.  Sure, I saw the value, so I agreed to participate,.. but certainly not of my own volition.  So of course, once I was no longer in the company of those friends.. my old habit patterns surfaced just as before, and I reverted back to my crass and loud-mouthed ways. 

This time, however, I am in a different space.  I am no longer brushing negativity under the rug and denying my self expression..  I now see that such behaviors no longer serve me, nor my community.  Therefore, I am choosing to transcend the negativity, as opposed to simply ignoring it.  I embrace my past ways, I understand their root, and I understand the place they had in my life.. so now, I am free to move on and continue with my growth and evolution. 

Sure.. I’ll probably slip.  I’m not perfect.. but I am certainly ready.

Expect big things from David this year.

End in Sight

01.27.09 - 019

Growing Pains.

So here I am.. home in Wudang.  I am all settled into my new living space back in the academy.  All of the loose ends that can be handled have been handled.. and all those can’t have been forgotten - well, for the moment at least.  There, in that clearing, with no other burdens on my mind, I sat at my desk in complete silence.. present to the fullness of the moment.  Then.. as if on que, I began to weep uncontrollably.

This has been such a difficult month for me.  First the uncertainty of even coming.. then the trouble with travel and visa, then the unspeakable trauma, then the hellacious commute, then the tiff with my master, then the horrible return to practice.. goodness, what on earth is going on here?   My last four days in Shanghai were especially hard.  I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep.. and whatever sleep I did get, was haunted by horrible, violent nightmares.  I would hyperventilate, I would shake and seize up, my hair fell out in clumps, I became terribly ill, I cried hysterically, and I was hit with waves of extreme grief, guilt, anger, fear, doubt, and worry.  I was such a wreck.

Now present to all the hardship I’ve found myself in.. I also came present to all the hardship and heartache I have contributed to..  I cried so hard.  I never knew such pain to be possible.  This is for certain, the biggest breakdown I have ever experienced,.. but then, there at my bottom.. something snapped,.. I suddenly came present to such radiant love.. an abundance of beauty that had been present all along.  I immediately sprung out of my rut and grabbed a pen and pad.  I began to make a list of all my blessings, writing each one out in full detail.. one page became two, two became five, five became ten, and before I could write any further, my hand cramped to a halt.. but I still had so much more to be thankful for.  I put the pen down, closed my eyes and continued my count of all the amazing blessings that have graced my life.  Slowly, those tears of intense pain had turned to tears of extreme joy.. what started as sorrow and self loathing, had miraculously turned into an amazing experience of boundless gratitude.  Sure, I’m still in the rough.. but at least now the end is in sight.

My heart may have been ripped open, but now there is only more room to love.

Home Sweet Home

1.26.09 - 018

All Settled.

Last year I moved out of the academy and into an apartment in the middle of town.  At the time, it felt like a great move, but given my circumstances this year, I figured it would be best to minimize and live as simple as possible.  That said, I took full advantage of the time off for holiday break to move all my stuff back into the school.

It took a few days to get everything moved, but with the help of Jeff, my closest kung fu brother here, I was able to make the move more efficient.  Once my goods were in place, I spent hours and hours playing tetris with my furniture trying to get everything to fit.  It took a minute, but eventually, I got my feng shui just right.  Now everything has it’s place.  So nice.  The other cool thing is that a fellow student here just left to return home, leaving me with his internet connection!  That means I don’t have to go to smelly internet cafes to be in communication this year.  So nice.

The only issue left open is my visa.  I’m down to my last 10 days or so, and I still don’t know for certain if I can extend it or not.  I have a possibility for extension here in Wudang, a possibility in Beijing, and two or three others in Shanghai.. so I have my fingers crossed and my hopes up.. but I know it’s going to take a lot more than luck to work this out.  Not so nice.

Things are going to work out.. I have faith.. just like George Michael.

Xing Nian Kuai Le

01.25.09 - 017

Happy ‘Niu’ Year!!!

Year of the Ox – or in Chinese.. ‘Niu.’  A year for strength, stability, fortitude, and perseverance.. but also a year to avoid being stubborn, stiff, naive, or slow.  This is the year to establish a firm foundation to build for the future.  Sounds about right.

Despite the celebrations, however, this year is especially tough,.. like everyone else, China too, is caught up in the global economic crisis.  Factories have closed and thousands of workers have been left unemployed.  See, normally, it is a tradition for folks to return to their childhood homes to visit relatives for the New Year, only to bounce back off to work shortly after.. but this year, with no jobs to return to, it is likely that the people will still come,.. only this time, they will stay.

This is where it gets sticky.. Wudang, like most other rural areas in China, is now flooded with unemployed people.  Beyond that.. it’s winter, and very cold.  The equation is simple:

Unemployment = No $$$                          Foreign Travelers = Foreign $$$
No $$$ = Cold and Hungry                        Foreign $$$ = Motive to Steal
Cold and Hungry = Disparity                    Motive to Steal = Danger
Disparity = Crime                                     Danger = Not Fun

I think you get the picture.

That said, the local police have issued a formal warning to all foreigners in Wudang.  Yuan Shifu, especially concerned for the safety of his students, has advised us to stay inside and keep our doors locked.  Ahhh, all the comforts of Richmond, California - here, in Wudang.  How fun.

Uh,.. Happy New Year..?

Dropping Science

01.24.09 - 016

My current feelings of anguish have only been intensified with the idea that my master is currently upset with me.  Sure, I’ve seen my master upset before.. but for the first time, he’s mad at me.  No words, minimal eye contact, and certainly no smiles.  I'm sure there are other things on his plate too.. but he has never felt so distant.

In traditional Chinese culture, the relationship between master and disciple is the absolute highest relationship one can have.. and yes, it is even stronger than the bond between parent and child.  True, a parent gives a child life and teaches them right from wrong.. but a parent cannot choose their offspring.. and it is their natural duty to raise a child to the best of their ability.  This is very different from the dynamic of master and disciple.  Though a master doesn’t give life to their disciple, they certainly give their disciple’s life substance, and diligently guides them to reach their full potential as living beings.  Beyond that, a master personally selects a disciple based on a wide variety of factors.. character, potential, morality, capacity to learn, dedication,.. etc.  Moreover.. it is not the responsibility of the master to impart wisdom.. it is their choice.  There is a saying.. ‘A day your teacher, a lifetime your father..’  ..this only further illustrates the precious bond between master and disciple.

There is another saying.. ‘It is difficult for a student to find a good teacher, but it is even more difficult for a teacher to find a good student.’  Not to pump up my ego, but of the thousands of students my master has taught over the last several years.. to be one of the select few to officially carry the linage for the next generation is a tremendous privilege.  I feel especially privileged because when I first came three years ago, I was stiff, heavy, and sluggish.. my foundation lacked, and my mechanics were funky.  Yet, despite my flaws, Yuan Shifu saw something in me.  He tailored his instruction to fit my personal needs.. and in time, I transformed – body and mind.  Now.. I may have fallen off a bit over the last break home, but I am still most certainly in the best shape of my life.  For this, I am eternally indebted to Master Yuan.       

That said.. I truly cherish my relationship with my master.  Wudang is as much apart of my life as a leg or an arm.  So it is plain to see why I would be so distraught to have my master upset with me.

Well.. unable to take the tension any longer.. I went to find my Yuan Shifu.  After looking the whole school over, I finally found him in the kitchen seated next to the stove to keep warm.  There was a vacant space next to him, so that’s where I went.. I crouched down at his feet and just sat there in silence.  It was awkward for a bit, but then he began to speak about some visa issues a few other students were experiencing.  He went on for quite some time, so I just squatted there.. listening intently.  After his story.. we returned to silence.  Finally, I placed my hand on his knee and looked up at him lovingly.  I spoke clearly, at a respectable volume and tone.. ‘Shifu,’ ..I said, ‘I am so happy to see you.’  ..He looked at me for a second.. then began to laugh.  My heart warmed.  Everything is ok now.

Sure my master was upset.. but it is only because he cares about me.  I know that now.

Basic Training

01.23.09 - 015

Back to the Grind.

The first day back to class was quite the reality check.  Granted, the school is now on holiday schedule, so we are now down to only five hours of class a day, as opposed to the standard ten.. but that still doesn’t make class any easier.  If anything.. it's only harder.

Class is still held in the same way, we start with a quick run to warm up, and then we go through our stretches.  From there we get into a group and drill all the basic exercises before breaking up to practice our individual skill sets. 

Well.. halfway through the basics, it was plain to see how far my practice had fallen along my six months back home.. but as a senior student.. I felt the need to push through.  Man, while I was away, my stamina dropped, my coordination slipped, my flexibility shortened, and my power had been whisked away.  You know, what they say is true.. ‘Practice is like rowing a boat upstream,.. without progress, regress is certain.’

Just two hours into class.. I began to feel nauseous.. shortly after that, I ran to a corner to dry heave.. so embarrassing.  After puking up air, I felt much better, so I pressed through the rest of training.  When we finished our basics, my master came to scold me.. in a short, stern voice, he said.. ‘Just go and do some Taiji,’  ..Ouch.

My master, Yuan Shifu.

01.20.09 - 014

Not So Welcome Home.

Getting back so late, I obviously wasn't going to see my master until the next day.  Still eager to greet him, I was sad to have I missed him in the morning while he was out to see the doctor,.. it wasn’t until later in the day when he found me at a local noodle shop that I finally got to greet him.  Once we met eyes, I jumped up with excitement,.. but my master didn’t look so happy.  Yuan Shifu, ever loving, ever compassionate, and ever so sensitive to the state of his students.. surely knew I was in shambles.. and he also had an idea why.  He simply greeted me with a grunt and a handshake.  Ouch.

As rough as my first greeting was, it was still so good to be back.  My new room came equipped with broken windows and a jammed door lock.  Nice.  The water still only ran for a few hours out of the day, and the communal facilities were still filthy as ever.  On the bright side, it was no where near as cold as it was last year, the electricity seemed to be more stable, and lots of renovations had been made.

I am glad to be home.

Longing for home

01.19.09 – 013

The Treacherous Road Home.

In my funk, I needed to get back to Wudang as soon as possible.  Knowing there were no trains or busses till well after the New Year celebration, I opted to drop the extra cash and go by plane.  The plan.. fly to the city of Wuhan, then catch a bus or train to Wudang.. I had to get home.    

My flight was bright and early in the morning.  I stayed up the entire night prior, restless and in shambles.  I made my way down to catch a cab well before the sun was even up.. but I couldn’t hail one for the life of me.  Beginning to grow anxious, I dragged my luggage to a main road in the hopes of having more luck there.. then, it was as if the clouds had parted and God shared a smile.. a taxi pulled over and the passenger stepped out – ‘Here you go my friend, you look like you need this cab more than me.’  ..Moved by the gentleman’s generosity.. I thanked him profusely and took the cab.

Then came the real problem.. I had no idea which terminal I was flying from, and beyond that, I didn’t even know which airline I was flying with.. and it certainly didn’t help that the e-ticket was printed with low toner – and in Chinese no less.  At that moment I remembered a prayer shared to me by my brother Juan.. ‘God, be my compass.. God, be my destination.’ 

At a loss, the cab driver just let me off at the very first drop point and wished me luck.. I certainly needed it.  The Shanghai airport was a mess.. it was packed to capacity with frantic travelers heading home for the Lunar New Year holiday.  Now, Chinese folk aren’t exactly known for their ability to wait patiently in lines.. so, needless to say, it was utter chaos. 

Luggage in hand, I maneuvered my way to an information desk and politely asked the service lady for direction.  Luck would have it that my check-in counter was no more than fifteen feet from where I was standing.. goodness, I am so blessed.  From there, I proceeded to check in and fly out.. rather uneventful.

Once I arrived in the city of Wuhan, my master had arranged for my martial uncle, Zhu Ming, to pick me up and put me on the first bus to Wudang.  Though he was busy.. he still managed to reserve my bus ticket and send a friend in his absence.. ahh.. I am so blessed to have loving and reliable martial family.  

Now, the bus was a whole other adventure.  The bus station was even worse than the airport.. it was packed with bustling travelers, poor peasants camped out waiting to buy tickets, and shifty eyed Xing Jiang folk (a shady minority group known for carrying knives) watching my every step.. it was not a pleasant experience.

Once on the bus, I had to literally ‘climb’ in, for we were packed well beyond capacity and luggage was stacked to the ceiling.  The funk of body odor, instant noodle bowls, and cigarettes made the recycled air dank and musky.  Kids were defecating on the floor and sick old folk were coughing up their lungs and spiting up gunk on to whatever free space they could find.. it was horrible.  I crawled into my crusty nook and closed my eyes, dreaming of my home in Wudang.

At about three in the morning, I was startled awake with a flashlight beaming in my face and a bus driver yelling.. ‘WUDANGSHAN!! WUDANGSHAN!!’  ..the bus dropped me off a good mile from my school.. but I was too happy to care.. I had finally made it home.

My Alter Ego

01.17.09 – 012

The Hollow Drum Beats the Loudest.

I have lived a lie for too long.  I present myself as this spiritual, moral, just, and upright Taoist disciple, but there is another side.. underneath the monk robes dwells an angry, crass, rude, boastful, arrogant, and lustful invalid.

I am lazy, loud, undisciplined, bitter, and cold hearted.  Moreover, I have been selfishly taking advantage of genuine individuals for my own benefit,.. especially with women. I have lied, cheated, and used.. I have broken a multitude of hearts.. and to top it off, I glamorized my behavior the whole time – thinking it was cool. 

Why is this coming up?  Well, a recent series of events came to pass that has brought the negligence of my ways to surface.  Mercury may be going retrograde, and Saturn may be returning.. but I cannot simply deflect blame onto some cosmic occurrence – this dilemma is the fruit of my own action – or lack thereof.  Though I will spare you the details, suffice to say, the trauma has shattered my veil.. leaving nothing but a weak and vulnerable sack of flesh, cold and trembling.

See, very early on, I learned to fear love.. fear loss.. fear heartache.. fear pain.. and in that fear, I became the very monster that I feared most.  I danced around, hurting others before they could hurt me.  Though awkward at first, those wicked ways slowly became habitual, and later grew to be second nature,.. then, before I knew it, I had come to find shallow justification and support from like minded peers.  I lived for the conquest.. trapped in a senseless pursuit of empty accpetance and hollow validity. 

Now, granted, I am no where near as bad as I was some ten-twelve years ago.. but some of my habits have persisted, and as luck would have it, they have come back to bite.  The end result.. a whole web of people have been hurt, and my careless actions have played a pivotal role. That said, it's time to come clean.  It's time to reassess all my morals, values, and beliefs,.. and more importantly, reassess who I am and what my purpose is.

Mr. Moonwalker

01.14.09 - 011

Professional Couch Surfer.

I've been writing a lot about training these last few days.. perhaps it's time for an update on my sitaution.  So let's see.. what matters most.. food, clothing, shelter.

For food, I've been eating pretty well.  Early on, I managed to find a local canteen near my hotel that had cafeteria style feasting.  There, I would stuff up on vegetarian grinds for around $1.75 US.. not bad.  I've also had the chance to catch up with a couple old friends here.. which means nice dinners..  yummy.

As for clothes, that's actually been quite tough.  I only brought enough clothing for two days of travel, and now I'm well into my second week in Shanghai.. needless to say, I'm fresh out of gear, leaving me very ill prepared for the winter chills.  As a result, I'm practically wearing all the clothes I brought all at once just to stay warm.  Luckily I managed to find a cheap cleaning service today, so I took my funked up gear in to get washed.. hopefully, I'll be set with nice clean threads for the next two or three days.. fun.

Finally we have shelter, and this is where I've been especially blessed.  The hotel was getting to be really expensive, so after the fourth day, Joy, my wonderful kung fu sister, arranged three different places for me to crash at!  First, I stayed in one guys place for about four days.. turns out this guy is a professional Michael Jackson impersonator.. how cool is that!?!  Now, I'm being hosted by a lovely married couple that has a free guest room.. so nice.  Next, I'm lined up to stay with a french rasta dude.. big chiefing.  After that, new years should be over and I should have a better idea of where my next move will be to.  What's funny is that the first place I stayed had a horny dog that humped me every night,.. now I'm at the new spot, and they have a cat in heat the mewls unceasingly.  Just watch, I bet the rasta dude is gonna have a nympho parakeet named cinnamon..  yeah I said it.  

All jokes aside.. I'm fed, clean, housed, and training every morning.  Things are looking good!

Circus World Park, Shanghai

01.13.09 - 010

Fly like an eagle.

Well, another day of Imperial Dragon Bagua in the park this morning.. and I know for certain I'm gonna be sore tomorrow.  Today, Ming Shifu had me do this one repetitive motion, non-stop, for what felt like an eternity.  A simple movement really.. but it looks pretty ridiculous.  Just imagine flapping your arms like a big bird.. as the arms go up, inhale deep and slowly lift yourself onto your toes,.. then, as you flap the arms down, exhale slowly and sink into a mild squatting position... from there, start again,.. then repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Now, the first few reps were cool, but after 5 minutes my arms were burning.. after 10, my feet were cramping.. by 15, all my sore spots went numb.. 10 more minutes after that, euphoria kicked in and I managed to let go of all my tension.  Then and there, in that heavenly space of movement, I was able to find all sorts of little circles and subtle figure eights in what would otherwise be seen as a simple flapping motion.  It was amazing.. but the moment Ming Shifu had me stop, my muscles immediately cramped from the cold.  Ouch.

Right after that, Ming Shifu showed me another simple movement.. this time, he had me circle my arms in large figure eight motions.. go figure.  What made this special is that he showed me the application and how a simple figure eight could be used to block, strike, and even throw an opponent off balance.  Then, he had me reverse the motion and showed me how that could also be used to block, strike, or take down an opponent.  I just love kung fu that is simple and effective.

Though I would have liked to continue to repeat those motions for another eternity to find the bliss in the subtleties, I was so ripped from the first round of exercise that I just couldn't bare to move any longer.  That said, I enjoyed the last bit of practice in standing meditation.  Whoooo.. painful.

I'll be sore tomorrow for sure.

Shanghai Life

01.12.09 - 009

Got my appetite back.

While back in the states I was such a labor mule.. I busted my butt to get back out here to China.  I took up any odd job I could.. carpentry, painting, landscaping, electrical work.. you name it.  I really got my hands dirty.  It was tough, especially with the current recession. 

To make matters worse, between all my work and travel this time back, my practice really slipped.. in a way, I had lost a taste for training.  But after two days of Bagua in the park with Ming Shifu, my appetite for kung fu is back!

Today started out much like yesterday.. lots of standing.  The stance work is ridiculous!  The back foot points north, the front foot points east, the knees are slightly bent and engaged, the hips are turned towards the north east, the core is tourqued to the west, the shoulders face the south west, and the eyes and hands stretch back to the south.. it's like standing in one big cork screw.  It feels like I'm going to fall off balance, yet I manage to stand just by the cross tension of the tendons.. VERY HARD.

After standing for what felt like forever, Ming Shifu led me in the circular foot walking specific to bagua zhang.  Then, he showed me the first re-directional change and palm strike.  Seemingly simple, the spiralling mechanics of this system can be very hard to execute.  Each limb coils and turns individually while still in harmony with the others.  Getting the physical mechanics is difficult enough, then when the internal mechanics of breath, power, and intention are added it gets incredibly hard.

To top off the practice, Ming Shifu shared some simple techniques for 'bridging' - a method of closing the gap between yourself and an opponent to put yourself in range to strike.  After that, he generously demonstrated a few movements for the video camera.  What a treat.  Ming Shifu's bagua is so disgusting.. it is beautiful to watch, fun to practice, effective as a martial art, and great for health.. what more could one ask for?

At the end of class, one of Ming Shifu's students stoped by to say hello.  He was an older gentleman with a full head of gray hair, but his complexion was radiant.  I came to learn that he suffered from a harsh case of diabetes, but after just three months of bagua, his doctor has taken him off of insulin shots completely.  Now, he runs around with a surplus of energy.. so amazing.

I LOVE KUNG FU!  I'm so glad to be back to my practice.  Even though I'm no closer to finding out how my situation will fare, as long as I'm training I am completely at ease. 

I LOVE KUNG FU!

Strong as an Ox

01.12.09 - 008

Prayers for Master Y.C. Chiang.

Hey everyone.. I don't know the details, but apparently my master in California is very ill and dehydrated.  Last I heard he just returned from a three month trip to China, and now I hear he's sick.  Some good news though, apparently his daughter went in to visit him in the hospital and he was up doing one legged standing meditation with an IV in his arm.  That said, I'm sure he will be fine, but please keep him in your thoughts.

Big bagua party

01.11.09 - 007

So much better!

For those of you keeping up, you know I've been having a pretty rough time in Shanghai as of late.  Well.. I finally got a break.. my good friend Joy made the time to take exceptional care of me today.  So blessed.  So, so blessed.

First off.. Joy hooked me up with two different hosts to put me up so I don't have to bounce around expensive foreigner hotels any longer.  She even came and picked me up this afternoon to help me check out of my room and get me situated in the new place.

Then, once all that was settled, we went to go train with my bagua master, Ming Shifu, whom she trains with also, over in a local park.  Man, it was so nice to see Ming Shifu again.. we were out in the blistering cold for about two hours or so, and he just had me do standing meditation the whole time while he had Joy drill forms and footwork.  So awesome.

After class, we went for a simple Chinese meal and then called it a night.  Such a nice day,.. even though I'm still in the dark as to what will be happening next, it was so awesome to get my living arrangements in order and to get some training in.  Tomorrow morning, we shoot back to the park for more bagua.. looks like another awesome day is on the horizon.. this time, I'll be sure to have my camera on hand.

Inhale with a smile,.. exhale with a smile.. everything is going to be alright.

Mom in the middle

01.10.09 - 006

Sorry mom.

Once I was told.. 'The worst thing you can ever give a loving parent is worry.'  .. I love my mom more than anything in the world, but I know that it must rip her up inside to see me in dilemmas like the one I'm in now - a dilemma that I brought upon myself. 

The fact of the matter is, I am so thankful to have such a strong, loving, understanding, patient, and trusting mother.. but gallivanting around the world doing flying kicks and karate chops probably isn't the best way to express my gratitude.  I mean, look at me.. I'm nearly 30.. I don't have a job, I don't have a home, I don't have a family.. I'm just floating along, going where ever the wind blows.  My mom must be so overwhelmingly burdened with worry, it really makes me question my life choices sometimes.

I can remember when I first chose to come train in China.. the lady I was dating at the time made a powerful point.. 'Your mom struggled to come to America, and here you are trying to go back to China.. don't you think she left for a reason?  why are you so eager to go back to what she worked so hard to leave?'  ..that question was asked over three years ago,.. funny thing is, I still don't have an answer.

I guess the point I'm trying to dance around is that in this life of mine.. I have to follow my bliss.  I know the bottom line is that at the end of the day, we all gotta eat, shit, and sleep.. and quite frankly, I don't know how I'm gonna turn kung fu into fried rice.. but I know that not having kung fu in my life would leave a hole that no amount of rice could fill.  I can only hope that someday soon, I can have some good news to share with my mom so that she doesn't have to worry anymore.

I love you mom.

Please don't worry.

Everything is going to be ok.

Taiwan life?

01.09.09 - 005

Possibility party.

So after a day of limbo.. several possibilities have been presented to me as solutions to my current dilemma.  Here they are in no particular order..

1. Just stay here in Shanghai.

PROS: I can train bagua with Ming Shifu, I will be in a better position to leave the country if need be, I may be able to get temporary work as a body guard, I have more possibilities for visa extensions here.

CONS: Shanghai is very expensive, I only have three days worth of clothes, one month is a long time to couch surf.

2. Just go to Wudang.

PROS:  That was my original intention anyway, I can finally relax and focus on training again.

CONS:  It is super difficult to get there now, I will have a big issue if my visa cannot be extended, I will have a hard time leaving the country from Wudang if it came down to it.

3. Go to Hong Kong.

PROS:  I 'should' be able to get a six to twelve month visa there, I've always wanted to visit, I can stay with my kung fu brother Derek.

CONS: It is super expensive to travel there, can't really afford to invest in a trip down there without first guaranteeing that I can extend my visa.

4. Go to Taiwan.

PROS: Several of my fraternity brothers are there, I have a place to live, work, and train, I can be where my mother is from, Taiwan is rich with culture, there is a lot of high mountain green tea, I can experience the new year celebration there.

CONS: I'd probably have to shave my beard and cut my hair if I want a job, I need to get a visa prior to going there if I intend to work.

So, that's what I managed to dig up today from the possibility pot.  What do you guys think?

Will work for visa

01.08.09 - 004

They must not want me here.

Well, I'm having one crazy day here in Shanghai.   Here I am.. just coming off a hellish journey.. excited to face the new day despite yesterday's drama.. spreading those wings.. and China just clips em at the stem. 

First dilemma: For reasons beyond my comprehension, I cannot get to Wudang by train, or bus, until next month.  Second dilemma: For reasons beyond my comprehension, I cannot extend my 30 day visa.  So yeah.. I only have a month in China, and I can't even get to Wudang until next month when the new year celebration ends.. but by that time, my visa will have already expired.. what is going on here?

I know the universe provides.. but it sure likes to test me too.

Given my current situation, I may end up just staying here in Shanghai and training with my Bagua Master for a month.   Perhaps then I won't have to deal with the travel drama, and I'll be in a better place to deal with my visa once the time is up.  The only issue then would be finding a place to stay in the meantime.. and having enough warm cloths since I only packed enough for three days of travel.  Aiya.. what is going on here.

So that's the latest.  Wish me well.  Big things still on the way.

Where my heart is

01.08.09 - 003

Feeling a bit funky.

I'm back in China now.. but that last flight out here was the hardest ever.  I suppose in the past, I came to China with no baggage or burdens.. I was so carefree - I just set some time aside, and went for it.  Now, it's much different. 

So there I was.. flying over the international time-line.. through the barren, frozen tundras of Alaska and Siberia,.. as I looked below at the endless stretches of jagged rock and ice, I took a moment to look inside as well.. there, I saw that despite all the ice and snow below, inside, my heart was slowly melting. 

This time, I REALLY let go.  I gave away everything!  I gave away all my books.  I gave away all my clothes.  Pretty much all that I own now is either here with me in Shanghai, or in a few small boxes tucked away in my mom's garage.  But all the material stuff I dumped is nothing compared to the community I'm leaving behind.  I'm leaving my dearest, hard-working mother, I'm leaving an aging father, I'm leaving two, brilliant young sisters,.. I'm leaving my wen wu family, my kung fu family, my amazing students,.. and I'm leaving a beautiful young lady that loves me dearly.. I've never felt so torn.

It was so bad I had to puke my guts out just before checking into my flight.  It was so bad that once I boarded the plane, I crammed into my little coach seat and cried nearly every twenty minutes of that seventeen hour flight.  It was so bad, I dragged around in a daze between custom formalities and transfers.  This trip was excrusiatingly difficult for me.

I can't help but think, 'Is this really what I want?  Do I really want to be here?'  ..I feel like an open wound.. like a lost sock.. I feel like crap.

Once I got settled in my hotel room, I took a moment to lay in bed and diggest my emotions.  Sure, I still feel funky.. but I guess these are just some serious growing pains.  Here I am, rounding thirty.. my saturn's return.. the actions I take now will shape the rest of my life.  This is it.  So really.. I figure this is probably the best thing for me,.. to be immeresed in practice.  Sure I'm giving up the security and stability of home.. but I feel security and stability are qualities to look for in a coffin - not in life.. and in reality.. did I even have security to begin with?  ..and on that note, does anyone REALLY have security?  Life constantly shifts, twists, and spins.. and there is certainly no security or stability in that.

So, to sum it up.. I still feel funky.. but, like my brother Jeff told me once before a demonstration.. 'you're only nervous because this is so important to you.'   ..so yeah, I'm still feeling weird, but now I think it's because I am on the verge of a tremendous breakthough.  I'm ripping down the walls of my security caccoon and spreading my new found wings.  I am growing and exploring, it's natural to feel a bit funky.

That said.. I'm putting the funk behind me and I'm going big.

Expect big things from David Wei this year.. 

Big Things.

Shanghai city nights

01.07.09 - 002

I MADE IT!!!

After two long flights that spanned well over 20 hours, I finally got into an icey cold China.  The first stop was in Beijing, where I had to work my way through the customs service,.. then, I had to wait alongside thirty other travelers in a frozen terminal gate for my connecting flight to Shanghai.  Once in Shanghai, we all had to go through a second round of customs before they finally let us out into the city.  Such drama. 

Now, I am resting up in my hotel room, ready to go to bed. Tomorrow, I look into getting my 6 month visa,.. then, I purchase my train ticket.  WUDANG, I'm coming home!

Thank you all for checking in on me, I will be sure to update again shortly.

2009 Year of the Beef

01.01.09 - 001

Welcome!

The New Year is here, and what better time to kick off my new website. Thank you all so very much for coming to visit.  I plan to update regularly, so please drop by often.